I wonder what I’m doing right now; what I’ve been doing all this time; what I’m going to do in the time to come. The professional life I’ve been leading so far has been successful, to say the least. I’ve seen paintings nobody has even dreamed of touching. I’ve discovered flaws in the most perfect of works. But what am I? A hunter of mistakes? A soldier enlisted in the army that counters counterfeiters?
I seem to delight
only in the wrong-doings of others. I often think of where I am in this
picture, working as I am in backgrounds, an extra in a film where the leading
role is too prominent to allow the rise of the underlings. I’ve been the shadow
of Pissarro, of Matisse, of Caillebotte, of Toulouse-Lautrec. The funny thing
is they’ve been all dead a long time; too long to know that I’m crusading for the
keeping of their good names.
But art has made me happy. There is
this thrill I get when I come close to a painting. It’s nothing to me but an
object: a thing on a wall with a life of its own, a life on the verge between
fact and fiction. Yes, assessing art does precisely that: puts pressure on the
line between originals and fakes, between the real thing and the copy claiming
to be it. And I’m the one who’s always there, walking that line.
This is what I usually work against. The best of the best have put their minds to fool the world, and I am the one who's trying to stop that catastrophe from taking place. I almost sound like Bruce Willis, don't I? |
The other day, I was handling a
Pissarro. The work was perfect. It spelled Pissarro all the way. The colour
pallet, brushstroke, frame, light, theme, composition. Everything. The purchase
was on its way. The dealer I worked with, a close friend of mine, was eager to
get the contract signed. It was so good and the share so impossible to turn
down. And on top of that he was, indeed, my friend.
“Jesus, James!” he said to me, not
just once. He wanted everything done. He wanted my tick – nothing else. A
simple tick, a simple flick of the pen on a piece of paper. But, friend or no
friend, I couldn’t do it. Not for all the millions in the world. There was this
shadow lurking inside my brain that told me no, this is not it. You need to
look again. And again. And again. I’d even talked to my mentors about this
piece. I’d spoken with my professor at Courtauld, and he took time off to
examine this Pissarro with me. He found it very close to an original: the
closest a painting can be. But when everybody had agreed, and all loose ends
had been tied up, I was still unsure. The monster gnawing at my thoughts was
well and alive. And it was then that I saw it. A little flaw in the signature.
The ‘a’ ever so slightly different, not impressed into the layer of paint
underneath it. As if it had been put there at a later date, when the paint was
dry. The only detail that quieted the monster inside me was there, and I
rejoiced.
How sad my friend was! He had just
lost one of the best deals in a decade. He looked at me like he was going to
eat me alive. But he knew I was right. He won’t take it personally, because
that’s exactly what I’m trained to do and what he hires me to do: to find
forgery where everybody else sees perfection.
The secrecy of my profession doesn't allow me to talk about the piece I investigated. But this is Pissarro, the way the world admires him. Boulevard Montmartre (1897) Source: Wikipedia |
That’s my life: always acting against
my best judgment, always doubting my doubts, always looking for what hasn’t
been seen. And on top of all this, my life is the disappointment of others. But
I can’t help it. This is my greatest delight, my doom. So what am I? What?